these may be reposts.. but eh ohwell deal wiht it.
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, ''Why'd you do that? The trooper says, ''You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready.''
Driver says, ''I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here.''
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, ''What'd you do that for?'' The cop says, ''Just making your wishes come true.''
The passenger says, ''Huh?''
The cop says, ''I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that mother f**ker would've tried that s**t with me.''' '
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A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las Vegas."
He asked her why she was going and she told him "I just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free".
He pondered that then went into the house and packed his bags and returned to the porch and with his wife.
She said "And just where do you think you're going?"
"I'm going too!!" he replied.
"Why?" She asked.
"I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year"!
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A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."
So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat-chested.
The husband says, "I can deal with that."
He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you anyway."
The husband says, "I have something to confess also."
She says, "No matter what I will still love you."
He says, "Okay. I am built like a baby down there."
She says, "I can deal with that."
So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.
She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah....7 lbs, 21 inches."
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.
The driver says, ''Why'd you do that? The trooper says, ''You're in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready.''
Driver says, ''I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here.''
The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, ''What'd you do that for?'' The cop says, ''Just making your wishes come true.''
The passenger says, ''Huh?''
The cop says, ''I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that mother f**ker would've tried that s**t with me.''' '
_______________________________________________________________
A man came home from work one day to find his wife sitting on the front porch with her bags packed. He asked her where she was going and she replied "I'm going to Las Vegas."
He asked her why she was going and she told him "I just found out that I can make $400.00 a night doing what I give you for free".
He pondered that then went into the house and packed his bags and returned to the porch and with his wife.
She said "And just where do you think you're going?"
"I'm going too!!" he replied.
"Why?" She asked.
"I want to see how you are going to live on $800 a year"!
____________________________________________________________
A newlywed couple on their honeymoon gets to the hotel room.
When they start to have sex, the wife says that she has something to confess. The husband says, "I will love you no matter what it is, tell me."
So the wife tells him that she is actually extremely flat-chested.
The husband says, "I can deal with that."
He takes off her shirt and shouts, "Boy! you are small, but I love you anyway."
The husband says, "I have something to confess also."
She says, "No matter what I will still love you."
He says, "Okay. I am built like a baby down there."
She says, "I can deal with that."
So he pulls down his pants and his wife passes out! He fans her and she finally gets up.
She says, "I thought you said you were built like a baby?"
He says, "Yeah....7 lbs, 21 inches."
