You need to do some digging as there are other forums/sites where the firmware is available to download from.
As to trusted sites, that is a risk you need to consider as any site other than Mazda's (if they actually had a place to download from) may not be safe.
Are there any non-trolls that want to comment on my original query?
Obviously googling is the quickest and easiest way to look for information, and always my first step when seeking information. In addition to the information I gather from Google, I would also like insights from others in the Mazda community. Again, the whole purpose of having a discussion forum is to gain insights from others in the community who have tried and tested hacks, products or processes. Please try to keep your responses constructive to the discussion. You're not contributing to anything by stating the obvious, and just making the forum messy.