Julie,
Sorry you wrecked your car. It is a lesson you will never forget though and at least nobody was hurt except your CX-9. You ABS brakes were likely working the way they are designed to, which was to stop the wheels from being locked. What ABS does is it detects one or all of your wheels skidding, then loosens the brakes so the wheels roll, then tightens the brakes until they just reach the skidding point, then loosens, etc. This happens many times per second. In really slippery snow or ice, the wheels start to slip the instant that the ABS tries to apply the brakes again, so the brakes are instantly turned off before any successful braking takes place. The result is that the car just rolls. And rolls. On a hill, with no snow tires, the car could keep rolling until the hill ends or you hit something. If you had an old car without ABS brakes, you would have skidded into that truck at maybe a slightly faster speed, but not by much. The fact of the matter is that with tires that do not have good snow traction, ABS does little to stop your vehicle in the snow. The real advantage is that with the wheels rolling instead of skidding, you retain your ability to steer (with greatly reduced steering response). The other advantage of ABS is that if just one of your 4 wheels gains some traction, you will have much quicker stopping ability than a car with no ABS breaks, because ABS works independently with each wheel so that one wheel will slow the car while the others keep gliding.
The best thing you can do once you get your car back, is to wait for another snowfall, and go out early in the morning to a large empty parking lot. There you can practice hitting the brakes as well as practice steering while stopping on snow. Learn how far it takes for your car to stop. It could take from 5 to 10 times the distance to stop compared to dry pavement.
But know that on a slight hill, like the one that you crashed on, there may be nothing you can do with the original tires if you have to stop quickly.