Girlfriend Of 3 Years Joked About A Threesome (NEED HELP!!)

So Ive got a really serious dilemma here. Tonight my girlfriend of 3 years told me about how she had wondered what a theesome would be like. I took it lightly as Id wondered the same thing but would never go through with it. She continued to tell me about how she would like to have it with a friend of mine. At this point I was in disbelief. I couldnt tell if she was serious or kidding. I took her word for it that she was serious and basically let it go for a few hours as I really needed time to absorb everything Id just heard. Anyways later that night she tells me that maybe she made it all up and was just messing with me. So I got even more puzzled and started to get more upset. A bit later I told her how I felt about the situation. I explained that it hurt me a lot that she would want to have a threesome whether it be with another man or woman. I explained to her how I felt we had a special bond and inviting another person in the bedroom would only ruin that bond we had worked on making over 3 years. She continued to explain that she was kidding about the threesome with my friend but was serious about wondering what it would be like. She said she would never go through with it.

Soo if youve read that far. Now im home. Im super upset still and have no idea what to do. I dont know what to believe her on and what to not believe her on. I dont think it was right for her to play games with me like that whether or not she is serious or not. If she wasnt serious which she claims she wasnt, I still dont think its acceptable in any form to joke about a threesome with someone that either of us know or are close to. If she had said justin timberlake I would have taken it with a grain of salt.

Anyways im about to go to bed and I need some advice. Right now my plan is to call her tomorrow and at the very least take a break. Whether or not we stay broken up is another question altogether but in my eyes a break is the best thing right now so that I can ponder where this relationship is headed.

Please give me some honest advice guys!! Im hoping this thread will be packed with opinions when I wake up tomorrow

You are lookin in the wrong place for advice. It's all about what you feel like doing. Everyone is different, I would've said SURE! which girl do you like lets do it! So to each their own. As for taking a break? Leave her or stay with her, breaks are a joke IMO. Tough love from me but you asked for advice.

Yeah breaks are a joke to me too...its basically saying ok I dont wanna be with you this week and have found someone I think is better but when that person doesnt want anything to do with me then me and you can get back together cause we werent broken up but on a break. That term is overused a lot. Thats my opinion on that. As far as the joke is concerned... she prolly does wonder what it would be like... its called a fantasy for a reason. It could be fun for the 3 of ya. And if this is the only reason you wanna take a break from the relationship with her.. then maybe you guys should just break up completely cause to me thats a pretty stupid reason to "take a break" from someone. You asked for a opinion or advice so thats what Im trying to give. I wouldnt do anything real drastic till you have had a lil time to cool off. I dont mean to sound like a dick... but after 3 years if this is the thing that breaks you guys up... something else is up and isnt a very strong relationship in the first place.

she could also have used that to gauge your reaction to the idea as well

i think you should say you're down with it but that you want to be stuck in the ass by the 3rd person instead.

dude, a break? are you 15 yrs old?

come on dude, you are more grown up than that!

if it bothers you so much, tell her to gofuckhermom...if not...then take it as it is...a joke, a fantasy. i think every man has that fantasy, 2 girls and me!...yeah, but don't make one of them my wife!

anyways, a break is ridiculous, like they say: you either PREGNANT or not PREGNANT....there is no kind of pregnant...

oye, cojase los huevos con las dos manos y sea hombre, deje de llorar!

I'll get her a dildo,she does not have fun with you its over.

erick pina said:

I'll get her a dildo,she does not have fun with you its over.

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so true....

damn

if its 3 years and u love her think 2x about breaking up with her... shes a ***** for talking about that though, i'd be slapping her if it wasnt for the relationship being that long

erick pina said:

I'll get her a dildo,she does not have fun with you its over.

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Funny thing is, that was the first thing I thought too...

I don't know, she felt comfortable enough to talk with you about it, which is a good thing. You have a girl who is willing to try new things; this wasn't the one to go for, but maybe you can try some of your own fantasies. This is an opportunity!

If this still bothers you that much that you don't want to be with her, then just cut all ties. Don't do it halfway. The relationship will never be the same. Don't be too quick to decide though...

I just noticed that this post was number 666 for the OP...

I'd give it at LEAST a few days before you make any decision. Your immediate emotional response is always very severe and you prolly aren't thinking rationally.

I'd also give her another couple days to try to 'make it right'. Truth be told, she's probably just curious and wanted to chat about it with the person she's closest to. However, the mention of your friend -- if I were in your place -- would definitely have spooked me out.

Personally, from a female's perspective, you couldn't PAY me to participate in something like that. I'm not a porn star, kthx. Not to mention that I value my relationship too much, to throw it out for five minutes of so-called pleasure. Hell, the guys probably wouldn't even last that long, anyway.

And on a side note, I've mentioned the idea to B before -- as a total joke, which I made clear, no mind games from me -- and he was visibly repulsed by the suggestion. So.

dude, for starters, MOST girls wonder what a 3-some would be like, so if you're going to wait for one that has no interest in a 3-some and never even wants to mention/talk about one, you might be waiting a while. Secondly, you'd be a fool to break it off over a stupid comment like that -- it's not like she actually went out and DID anything. Now if she actually mentioned a MALE's name that she'd like in the 3-some, then I could see you getting somewhat upset over it. 3-some should only ever be female, female, male. Once you get more than 1 penis in the mix at the same time, the whole thing is fu*ked up.

see thats the thing gauging his reaction im betting she was thinking about having a 3some with another guy. If it was me and she said it was a female i would just brush it off,But on the other hand if she came out and said with one of my guy friends i dont really know how i would react.

remember, the girl wanted his friend, which i would assume is a dude, and that is not a threesome for the guy, just the girl, it would be a partially gay experience for the guy.

but seriously, if she is curious about your friend tell her to go get with him and leave you the heLL alone

daonly1around said:

remember, the girl wanted his friend, which i would assume is a dude, and that is not a threesome for the guy, just the girl, it would be a partially gay experience for the guy.

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LOL!!!!!! So true.. Dood your girl is bored and wants some freaky sex.. give it to her or someone else will...

IMO, not something to get overly upset about when you're 19. She just wants to have some fun, so go along like you've changed your mind, and that as you thought about it, you wouldn't mind having a threesome with another woman, namely the best looking chick she knows. Suddenly the shoe will be on the other foot, and she'll realize how outrageous the idea must seem to you. Bet me, she'll drop it cold.

Wow, reading this post has been a good laugh People need to take a chill pill here regarding how bad it is that she had a fantasy.

Let's say you get married and are together for like 5-10 years. Are you never going to experiment? With anyone I have ever dated, the best thing about our connection was that we could be TOTALLY open and honest about our sexual desires. This has led to the best sex ever and also a special bond that is unlikely to be duplicated again.

If you are not the experimenting type and she is, cut your ties and leave it at that. I seriously doubt that this is her only fantasy and the last time she is going to "joke" about it. I bet there are many other things she thinks about but doesn't feel comfortable telling you.

Dude, EVERYONE has fantasies that they don't share. Some people realize that and eventually find poeple who won't judge them and compare notes about what they really think. Not just about sex...but about everything in life.

She didn't do so well with bringing HIS friend into it.. another chick, yeah, the thoughts of another guy being involved wouldn't have come up, but if she mentioned that.. subconsciously what is she thinking about his friend? That's just me, as a chick's thinking.. it wouldn't be mentioned if she didn't think of it, even if she was kidding. Maybe he should play back and try to find out if she was really only kidding. Bring it up and see what she REALLY thinks about a threesome with his friend. At least then he might be able to figure out some things to put his mind at ease and realize what he has to do or doesn't have to do.

there is absolutly no reason to end a relationship that, as far as i can tell is perfectly fine, from what you posted. Getting angry at someone you love because they opened up to you about what many people never will is actually pretty rediculous.
PEOPLE HAVE FANTASIES!! everyone! people just lie and sneak and act like they aren't there. to have someone come clean with you about something that 'dark' they are feeling is a good thing. IMO, it shows a massive amount of trust and a true desire to communicate. Say that instead of your friend she said anyone else...would your reaction still be the same? It's a suggestion, not an ultimatum. humans have flaws and the true trust of a relationship lies in the peoples ability to recognize that in each other and be comfortable knowing thats we all have free will and desires, but can still stay totally true in a relationship.
Personally, I think you are totally blowing this out of proportion. because she suggested a 'menage a trois' is a ludacris reason to break up (cause we all know breaks never work).
She is being open and honest, talk it out with here if it bothers you so much, explain why you got so upset (was it due to your friends mention? does it make you personally feel inadequate? etc...) dont be so rash with you decisions, always sleep on it and talk it out in the morning. if you arent really sure what to say, make a list by yourself when you think it over...questions and whatnot so that when the time comes you can really figure out why this is so bothersome to you.
good luck.