I don't know what is squirrelly about it. If you lock the doors with the fob, button on the inside armrest, manually with the buttons on each interior door panel, or with the button on the driver's or passenger's side exterior handles, the hatch is also locked. If you don't have the fob on your person you cannot unlock the hatch from the outside.
I generally drive with all doors locked except for the driver's door. When I exit the vehicle I thumb the button on the inside door panel to the locked position. When I return to the vehicle I press the exterior lock/unlock button once to unlock only the driver's door or twice to unlock all doors if I have passengers. If all doors are unlocked you don't need a fob to open the hatch.
For example if only the driver's door is unlocked, as it usually is when parked in my garage, if I don't have the fob on my person and want to open the hatch for any reason, I have to open the driver's door and hit the electric unlock button on the armrest which then unlocks ALL doors including the hatch.
I have disabled the auto lock function and the auto lock upon walk away features. I know what I am doing and what state of lock or unlock my doors are.