Hey dudes, I just thought I would put a little post here. It's not a depressive post but something that can be learned by all.... I have a saying...
"Learn from others mistakes... cause you don't have enough time to make them all yourself..." which is totally true.
Now I have bene dating this girl for about 2 months now... I only asked a few things of her... to respect me.. and to be upfront and honest.. I know the upfront and honesty is coverd by the respecting part but anyways. I as sick in school cause I was stressed out to s***. I got an ulcer and had to be hopitalized for a few days. Now through some stress management courses I have learned to speak up when something bothers me, athte right time and place that is.
She on the other hand was brought up in a family in which to keep her mouth shut and accept the BS that was going on. If she would say anything she would get yelled at and made fun of.
I tried making it easy for her to speak up to me but it didn't work, the little things that bothered her where kept inside. Eventually after 2 months she snapped... she told me everything and broke down... she almost left me too.... i didn't fight her on any of the issues as I know most of them where true... cause no one is perfect and I can accept my mistakes and learn from them.
What saved everything was how easy I made it for her to talk to me. I brought her to OUR place, which where we had our first picnic together.... I bought my dog which she so loves... I brought her that dried rose that I have given to her 1 month earlier... and she smiled and jumped into my arms.... I could only show her the good things that had happened in our lives... how important she was to me... I didn't argue, I didn't fight.. I just listened and comforted her.. it took over 4 hours for all of this to go through... it wasn't pretty and I was really drained last night....
To all of you, have patience and listen. Don't be defensive when someone points out your faults or mistakes... be open and accepting of them... i have learned so much about myself and life in the past few years... I grew up alot and I got way more to go...
Changing my ways and what bothers her won't be easy... I am not changing for her... but she does gives me some incentives to fix my faults as I know they have been following me for a long time...
Speak your mind and your heart... and listen when they do the same to you.... don't fight it... take it with open arms. It's not easy for someone to open up sometimes... so don't give them a hard time....
I am so glad that we where able to make things work. I am not 100% today and I won't be for a bit, this has a serious effect on me. At the same time I am happy that she has opened up to me but the thought of her leaving me still sits in the back of my mind. We are accepting the fact that we both made mistakes and are williing to look beyond that and move onto better things...
Jc
"Learn from others mistakes... cause you don't have enough time to make them all yourself..." which is totally true.
Now I have bene dating this girl for about 2 months now... I only asked a few things of her... to respect me.. and to be upfront and honest.. I know the upfront and honesty is coverd by the respecting part but anyways. I as sick in school cause I was stressed out to s***. I got an ulcer and had to be hopitalized for a few days. Now through some stress management courses I have learned to speak up when something bothers me, athte right time and place that is.
She on the other hand was brought up in a family in which to keep her mouth shut and accept the BS that was going on. If she would say anything she would get yelled at and made fun of.
I tried making it easy for her to speak up to me but it didn't work, the little things that bothered her where kept inside. Eventually after 2 months she snapped... she told me everything and broke down... she almost left me too.... i didn't fight her on any of the issues as I know most of them where true... cause no one is perfect and I can accept my mistakes and learn from them.
What saved everything was how easy I made it for her to talk to me. I brought her to OUR place, which where we had our first picnic together.... I bought my dog which she so loves... I brought her that dried rose that I have given to her 1 month earlier... and she smiled and jumped into my arms.... I could only show her the good things that had happened in our lives... how important she was to me... I didn't argue, I didn't fight.. I just listened and comforted her.. it took over 4 hours for all of this to go through... it wasn't pretty and I was really drained last night....
To all of you, have patience and listen. Don't be defensive when someone points out your faults or mistakes... be open and accepting of them... i have learned so much about myself and life in the past few years... I grew up alot and I got way more to go...
Changing my ways and what bothers her won't be easy... I am not changing for her... but she does gives me some incentives to fix my faults as I know they have been following me for a long time...
Speak your mind and your heart... and listen when they do the same to you.... don't fight it... take it with open arms. It's not easy for someone to open up sometimes... so don't give them a hard time....
I am so glad that we where able to make things work. I am not 100% today and I won't be for a bit, this has a serious effect on me. At the same time I am happy that she has opened up to me but the thought of her leaving me still sits in the back of my mind. We are accepting the fact that we both made mistakes and are williing to look beyond that and move onto better things...
Jc
