I am heartbroken

LambOfSilence · Apr 8, 2002

I don't know how you guys can help, but I need all the help I can get.

My girlfriend since high school is leaving me. We want different things, she wants marriage, and I don't. For me, it could be how my parents are not working out, or it might be the men have to have their freedom thing. We have been together for almost 6 years. She is a great girl, TLC and all, but we sort of know that she will leave me sometime this year, cause she is not exactly a teenager anymore and one of us has to sacrifice.

I bought my P5 last month, and we spent every weekends cruising everywhere, I told her that I wanted to run-in the engine as soon as possible, but we both knew that it is going to be our last month together.

She is leaving on the jet plane the day after tomorrow. I dont know what I can do to my aching heart. (no suggestions on alcohols or speeding, plz)

Humvee · Apr 8, 2002

Probably not exactly what you want to hear....but believe me, there's always more fish in the sea and you'll find your next will be better...think of it as a learning experience.

Thank your stars you get to keep the car

jdm_mp5 · Apr 8, 2002

what are her reasons for leaving? is it just because you don't want marriage at this point in your life? it is hard for her wanting something that you don't want. But hey, getting married doesn't limit your freedom unless you allow it to. and what do you mean by freedom? i would like to help but you have to disclose more details. 6 years...thats quite awhile, and i dunno if thats worth losing cuz you apparently seem to care for her a lot. Either way, at some time in your life you will have to make a sacrafice. Life is not this smooth path, but is a rough path with twists and turns that you will have to endure through. Hey, if you can picture her later in your life when you are older now, then hey its worth the risk. If you want to be with this girl no matter what, then you know what to do.

gene in cincinnati · Apr 8, 2002

Same thing happened to me - I thought that I would never find anyone better than my 6-year "high school sweetheart." A couple of years after we broke up, I met my wife and she is a million times the person my previous girlfriend was - really, no exaggeration.

Give it time and it will all work out.

Good luck.

Korey Chaos · Apr 8, 2002

Hold on,..let me brace myself because im about to ****** cry. See, i shouldnt have even wrote that first sentence because everyone seems to like to beat me with a stick when i comment on things.

Its all good though cause yall know that i still love yall. Really though, what does this "problem" have to do with the P5? Is the car the reason why yall broke up or is it the fact that u wanted to aftermarket the engine that drove her away? Dawg, this is a Mazda forum and maybe your asking the wrong things to ppl that have totally irrelavent(did i spell that right?) responses. I feel for u, i really do but maybe u should ask Dr. Laura or your family members. Wait!! Could it be that were your family as well? I guess we are. Well,...in that case, find something better. Like DMX said and i quote.."If u love something, let it go. If it comes back to u, it always was yours. If it doesnt, then i never was"..

LambOfSilence · Apr 8, 2002

thnx everyone for your warm replies (including your quote, korey)

jdm_mp5, her reasons for leaving is simple, she does not want to wait for someone who is afraid of marriage. Almost every women (I know anyways), wants to have kids before age of 30, and most of them want to have kids after they get married. So, you do the math, she has only a few years left to find another guy, hopefully get to know him, get married, and have kids. As of now, I have no idea what I want (except to keep that P5), freedom? maybe, but can I picture her in my future? yes, I do love the girl, love her enough to marry her? I don't know...

gene, glad to hear that from someone with similar experience. I hope the best for your wife and you.

jdm_mp5 · Apr 9, 2002

well think about it. Girls when they are growing up always have this perfect picture of how they want their life to be. Just like prom, and like their wedding. That stuff means the world to them and it may not be all that important for the wedding to be all decked out with flowers, string cortets, ballroom floors and all for you, but for her it means everything. Thats what they dream of as little girls. Hmmm...yes it does seem like a fantasy world that may or may not come true...but if you love her...i dunno maybe you could possibly talk to her out of her paradigm of getting married before the age of 30. It's really not all that bad...i mean, i think it would be more spectacular that you guys dated for more then 6 years and then got married. When i hear people talk about that im in awe because thats awesome. It's all up to you though. You know what you are risking and what you have offered to you. Do what you think is right for you.

adragonfly · Apr 9, 2002

Well, guys, seems like you haven't had a woman's opinion yet... So here's mine. I'm one of those girls who always had the perfect picture of a wedding etc, etc... I'm only 22, but I was in a five year relationship that I thought would last forever. We actually got engaged when I was 19, but it ended shortly after that. I realized I was way too young to settle down, especially since I didn't know if I loved him enough to share the rest of my life with him. He was the one who wanted to get hitched already. It really broke my heart when we separated, and I couldn't imagine things ever getting better. That pain just would not go away because I had gotten so used to being a part of something greater than myself. However, it did go away, and now I'm with a man I can see myself with forever. Still in no rush to get married, though...

If you've been with your girlfriend for 6 years and you're not jumping at this chance to be with her forever, then maybe she isn't the one. Everyone says that 6 years is a long time, but FOREVER is even longer! How can you marry someone who you're not absolutely positive about? Forcing you to make a decision will create a marriage that falls apart in the end. If you're not ready, you just aren't. If she leaves you because of this, then she doesn't deserve you. That means she doesn't respect your feelings. It might hurt now, but this, too, shall pass... Have faith and hang in there...

If all else fails, you have a beautiful Pro 5 to serve as a distraction. Take it out for a long drive and you'll see that there's dignity in being alone.

Humvee · Apr 9, 2002

wow...well said dragonfly

cjstringer · Apr 9, 2002

If you're over 18, come on out to the midwest. I've got a $20 and some ones. We'll do some tuckin' get you're mind off her and have a couple shots o' Jack to free up the spirit! WOOHOO!!

Uhh, just a thought.

jdm_mp5 · Apr 9, 2002

wow! that was great advice! and the part about hitting up the strip club! perfect! the wonders of being 18!

cjstringer · Apr 9, 2002

It was just a joke. Take it as you will.

jdm_mp5 · Apr 10, 2002

awww...yeah, that would only be a temporary happiness that would never last.

Antoine · Apr 10, 2002

Someone say strip club?....Where.....When?........Jk...seriously though...thats tough man...try to be strong...everything happens for a reason or does it? I'm glad you felt comfortable enough sharing your situation with your fellow p5'ers...shows how tight we are as a board/forum when we can relate to each other on other levels besides the automotive level. I give you guys/gals credit for responding and trying to help a fellow p5'er in his time of need.

What I've noticed...good things happen when you least expect it.

cjstringer · Apr 10, 2002

I lost one after 5 years myself, that's why I'm joking. The way I got past it was to party!. I had just graduated from college and she still had 1 year left. It ended, I had my own place in a city away from everyone I knew, and I partied like hell! Spent 4 years in some of the greatest meaningful one night stands/relationships

I could find. It was lonely at times, but damn the freedom was great. Let me learn who I really was on my own, and I found there were a few things I wanted and needed that I wasn't getting when I was with the ex.
The key is, don't mistake wanting to be with SOMEONE for needing to be with her right now. If she comes back, that's great! If not, just make sure you make the effort to have a good time and enjoy life while you're here. This whole life thing isn't permanent. Enjoy it!
Also, it took me about 7 months to really "get over" my ex. Don't dwell on time, but be aware of it. The more you waste, the less time you have.
About 2 years ago, I found an Angel purely by accident. We have lived together ever since, share about 90% of our interests, (it's good to have seperate needs at times) and are looking to get married soon. It can happen man. When you're ready, you'll know it.
Damn, I just wrote a book, as if I know a damn thing about relationships. Hope this helps.

"It's all in the family"
--Fred Durst & Korn

LambOfSilence · Apr 10, 2002

Just sent her off...

I just drove my girlfriend with my p5 (very versatile, all baggages actually fit!) to the airport. We spent hour and half talking about our past, how we got to know each other, our fondest moments together, how different we might be if we meet again in the future, and our future. Of course, 1.5 hours was not long enough to cover all six years. I just wanted to make sure that I will miss her and she will miss me too. I learnt that we have both grown so much since we were together, we learnt finally how to chase after what we really want.

So, I kissed her and held her before she leaves for the gate, I whispered in her ears "Thank You" for the past six years. That was about the only thing I could tell her. We both cried, it was actually the only time she see me cry.

And there I was standing in front of the crowded gate, waving her off. There went my love...

Antoine raised a good point, and I really want to thank those who read and actually cared enough to reply. All your replies helped me a lot.

Also, cjstringer said something that I will be doing for the next few months, "learn who I really am on my own", I guess in a relationship for this long made me lazy, I never really thought about the question, "who I really am and what I really want", I guess I will figure them out during this trying time.

Thank you again for replying, hope to talk to you soon on this forum.

adragonfly · Apr 10, 2002

I think you'll be okay... Sounds like you've accepted the situation and will move on soon enough... Hang in there... Your fellow Pro 5 owners are here for you.

derrick1623 · Apr 10, 2002

ok, so i dont have a mp5, but my girl is crazy talkin also...we've been engaged over a year, together for more than 3...and now she says..."i'll be 21 soon, things are gonna change"...wtf is that...i want NOTHING to change! i love her, and dont want to lose her, but i dont know what shes thinkin about us... it sux. dude, i feel your pain totally!!!

Allen · Apr 10, 2002

Korey Chaos said:
....[snip] I feel for u, i really do but maybe u should ask Dr. Laura or your family members. Wait!! Could it be that were your family as well? I guess we are. Well,...in that case, find something better. Like DMX said and i quote.."If u love something, let it go. If it comes back to u, it always was yours. If it doesnt, then i never was"..

DR. LAURA C. SCHLESSINGER? That would probably make it even worse. I probably couldn't get an intro in, "Hi my name is..." before she goes off telling me what a bad personality I have, how stupid I was, how lazy and dumb I am, how I am such a bad awful parent with no moral, etc, etc...

Noooo... not Dr. Laura, that looney is not recommended in my book. I'd be bald by pulling my hair out of my head if I had to listen to her advice!

adragonfly · Apr 11, 2002

Hey Derrick... sounds like things SHOULD change... What does she mean by "I'll be 21 soon, things are gonna change"?!!! Sounds like she has a little growing up to do and isn't ready to get married. If you've been together for as long as you have and she's only twenty now, trust me, she hasn't experienced enough to really know that she should be with you. I know this because I was pretty much like her. I was with my ex for five years and didn't really get to grow up on my own. Even though we were engaged, I knew that I couldn't marry him because I didn't know what else was out there. I was only 20 then and thought I knew everything. Turns out I didn't even have a clue and have so much more to learn before I spend the rest of my life with another person. It's true you can't always judge a person by their age, but how much can you truly know if you haven't lived that long?

If your girl wants her space and some time to party, you just might want to give it to her. It sounds crazy but here's why you should... You'll never know if she's with you because you're the BEST out of all the things she's experienced or if she's with you because you're the ONLY thing she's ever experienced. Don't you want to be the one she CHOSE rather than the one she SETTLED for? It's been said before, but if she comes back to you, she's yours. If she doesn't, she never was. Sometimes the best thing that could happen to a relationship is a test like this. It'll bring out the truth.

Good luck with everything. Take care.

I am heartbroken

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

Member

'Content Monkey'

&#19990;&#30028;&#26479;

Member

Similar threads

世界杯