Well, I think I may have sorted out the problem. I hit the magic black button and put in a fresh battery and gave it a shot. No start.
Decided to pull the plugs and see if I am getting spark. The plugs in cylinders 1 & 3 (the slave wire cylinders) were wet and smelled like gas.. I looked down into the cylinder and saw a puddle of fuel in the respective cylinders
OK.. so I am getting fuel. That means the crankshaft position sensor is good if I am not mistaken? anyways, cleaned off the plugs and I checked spark on cylinder 1's spark plug. In about a 3-5 second crank, I got 1 tiny spark.. it looked really weak and I am 90% sure you should see more than that.
Starting to think this is a coil pack issue... so I continued looking around and decided to take a second look at the fuse box
Noticed the MAIN fuse didn't look "straight".. it looked cocked to the side.. pulled it out and found
WOW. That doesn't look good. I wonder when that happened..
Looking at the relay itself, plastic melted to the connector tabs
So hopefully autozone or someone keeps these in stock...
I still wanna replace the coil packs now.. idk. hopefully I can replace this relay and START!