2003blkmp5
12-12-2003, 03:47 PM
Here are just some Jokes I got in e-mail today... just to kind of get you through the rest of the workday....
JOKE#1: Thats just wrong
Did you hear about the new paint color that's coming out? It's called blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
JOKE#2: Now THAT's WRONG!!
Two guys were stranded on a deserted island for over 20 years. One day, one finds a bottle and a genie comes out. I will grant each of you only one wish. The first guys immediately asks to go back home and poof, he's gone. The seconds thinks for a minute then says to the genie, "You know I'm gonna miss him, can you bring him back?"
JOKE#3: Now that's funny no matter who you are
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. "I think you mean spermicide," says the cashier. "No," he says, "I need condoms with insecticide. My wife has a bug up her ass, and I'm going in after it."
JOKE#4: HA HA HA
Worried about their less-than-exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist, who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis. And, to the wife's joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife…She's not my wife…She's not my wife…"
JOKE#5: BONUS JOKE
A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Honey,pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The wife says,"Ohmigod! No shit?! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
The husband yells back,"It doesn't matter… just get the hell out!"
JOKE#1: Thats just wrong
Did you hear about the new paint color that's coming out? It's called blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
JOKE#2: Now THAT's WRONG!!
Two guys were stranded on a deserted island for over 20 years. One day, one finds a bottle and a genie comes out. I will grant each of you only one wish. The first guys immediately asks to go back home and poof, he's gone. The seconds thinks for a minute then says to the genie, "You know I'm gonna miss him, can you bring him back?"
JOKE#3: Now that's funny no matter who you are
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks for some condoms with insecticide. "I think you mean spermicide," says the cashier. "No," he says, "I need condoms with insecticide. My wife has a bug up her ass, and I'm going in after it."
JOKE#4: HA HA HA
Worried about their less-than-exciting sex life, a young wife sent her husband to a therapist, who wound up treating him with self-hypnosis. And, to the wife's joy, everything got much better. However, she could not help but notice that each night, early into their lovemaking, the husband would dash out to the bathroom for several minutes. This tormented her until finally, one night, she followed him. There, in front of the mirror, she found him applying this therapeutic technique: "She's not my wife…She's not my wife…She's not my wife…"
JOKE#5: BONUS JOKE
A man gets home, screeches his car into the driveway, runs into the house, slams the door and shouts at the top of his lungs, "Honey,pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The wife says,"Ohmigod! No shit?! What should I pack,beach stuff or mountain stuff?"
The husband yells back,"It doesn't matter… just get the hell out!"